The Great Disconnect Between Men and Their Bodies
- Mark Grayson
- Jan 29
- 2 min read
A Crisis of Presence that We Can No Longer Afford to Ignore
I was surprised when David Allen Tracy asked me if we might do three-episode podcast interview on my book, Getting Naked. How could there possibly be that much material to explore? Then I reflected on the hour that we had spent engaged in a rapid-fire prepping for our conversation – it was an explosion of fireworks, thought starters that needed to be unpacked in a more orderly fashion.
The first segment that released in early December on Rooted & Wild focused on how we men have become disconnected from our bodies, and the consequences, the crisis of presence that we experience as a result across our lives. Although that’s a topic that I’ve explored now in many forums, this conversation forced me to dig deeper for more answers.
David got me to describe (indeed, re-live) my experience of posing nude for a female photographer, sharing in intimate detail the psychological impact that it had on me. We then went on to map out ways in which all men can engineer a similar liberation for themselves, removing the armor that we put on every day, the false narratives that we tell ourselves about what we must do to live up to the set of expectations that are placed upon us. We went on to explore how these narratives narrow the range of expression of our beings so that our lives are not as full and satisfying as they might otherwise be. We then discussed the ways in which these stories change our relationships, the ways they impact the kinds of careers that we choose, and the decisions we make about work, play, health and love at every stage of life.
Our conversation then moved on to explore how we are conditioned as men to hide our pain and store our trauma in our bodies, which then erupts in angry emotional outbursts that wreak havoc on our relationships. Following that, we looked at how we as men dismiss the spiritual dimensions of our beings, denying the very inner capacities that could help ground us and release some of our trauma.
We then tackled the way in which we men refuse to discuss the actual lived experience of the complexities of our own male sexuality. We agreed that guys seldom have an authentic conversation about sex, preferring the safe, locker-room banter that tends to objectify the topic, keeping it safely at a distance. If and when we do finally gather in safe spaces for a discussion of our sexual appetites, it’s always in the context of porn addiction, shame about masturbation, and some of other dark shadows of male sexuality, further increasing our disconnection from our bodies.
At the end of our conversation, David and I agreed that it’s long past time that our society take a hard look at how much our dominance-based culture of masculinity is taking a physical toll on us. There is an urgent need to help men find ways to reclaim a much healthier relationship to our own bodies.
You can listen to parts one and two of our conversation here and follow it as it continues to unfold in future podcast interviews.
PART ONE
PART TWO
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