Unorthodox. Unfiltered. Unabashedly Male.
The Seven-part Journey
Naked Man Collective maps out seven areas for personal exploration. Each territory for investigation enables you to disable a key tenet of the Man Box, so that you can create your own new, more authentic way of being male. Take your first step to get started, in any order that you prefer.
The Work We Need to Do
Naked Man Collective offers a set of resources and conversations that will help you become the man you want to be in the 21st century.
It lays out a seven-part journey of self-exploration that will break down Man Box culture, so that you can rebuild and express your individual, authentic male identity.
In Search of Non-Toxic Manhood: A Road Map
Men need a road map to create the change we want, adapting prior non-toxic models of masculinity for today. This essay was written in response to an Op-Ed by Ross Douthat for the New York Times, entitled “In Search of Non-Toxic Manhood."
Here’s how we can get started in our search for ‘non-toxic manhood.
ESSAY 6 | STEP 01 & 03
A Field Guide to Being a ‘Spiritual’ Male in the 21st Century
Men need a road map to create the change we want, adapting prior non-toxic models of masculinity for today. This essay was written in response to an Op-Ed by Ross Douthat for the New York Times, entitled “In Search of Non-Toxic Manhood."
Here’s how we can get started in our search for ‘non-toxic manhood.
ESSAY 7 | STEP 02 & 05
The Myth of Quality Time, Part 2
This essay explores the downstream consequences of not being present in the home. If we don’t spend time developing the tools we need for healthy relationships with our children through day-to-day interactions early on, major life challenges later can be very difficult to tackle.
The cycles of love between father and son repeat themselves.
ESSAY 10 | STEP 07
Learning to Live with Fear and Failure
A series of unexpected challenges in launching a start-up made a train wreck of my high-flying career and forced me to question my own capacities as an executive, husband, and father. The experience convinced me that we need to approach fear as our friend and guide
Fear isn’t an emotion to be avoided. It’s a gift.
ESSAY 11 | STEP 07
Everyday Mystics
There is a deep yearning for a higher purpose within contemporary society. This essay sets the stage for my memoirs, which people are short-handing Eat, Pray, Love for Men. Cristina Cuomo published this essay in the Winter Issue of Purist.
Having wandered through a great many spiritual practices over the decades, here’s what I have learned that might be useful.
ESSAY 12 | STEP 05
Rediscovering the Lost Language of Touch
Men’s deep-seated need for touch is at odds with emerging social conventions, yet we somehow need to acknowledge the powerful, positive role that touch plays in our lives. Men must become much more fluent in the language of consent and master the nuance of the lost language of touch. To that end, we need to change the way we raise boys.
Finding answers in the power of consent.
ESSAY 13 | STEP 07
21st Century Masculinity
This essay puts forth a paradigm for “Real Men” that addresses each dysfunctional behavior that men adopt in “The Man Box.” It was retweeted within fifteen minutes of it being posted online by Mark Greene, one of the most visible champions of the new masculinity movement.
The current explosion of “new” male behaviors did not appear out of nowhere.
ESSAY 15 | STEP 04
Rediscovering the Lost Language of Touch, Part 2
This essay explores the idea that when men know how to use healthy, non-sexual touch in their relationships with each other, they have the ability to rediscover or reinvent a language of consensual, non-sexual touch with women.
We need to figure this out.
ESSAY 17 | STEP 03
Can Mistletoe Work Its Magic in Today’s World?
This essay proposes that we reinvent this holiday tradition, turning it to a festive game of expressing vulnerability and appreciation, habits of mind that lead to healthy relationships.
Mistletoe is an outdated symbol of male privilege. Let’s start a new holiday tradition.
ESSAY 18 | STEP 03
The Door Opens at Our Breaking Point
My professional meltdown triggered feelings of inadequacy and shame that shattered my self-concept. I was forced to realize that I am not in control. My experience also taught me that instead of avoiding pain, I should welcome it as a door to transformation.
Can we learn to embrace the ambiguity of our situation, instead of racing to a resolution?
ESSAY 23 | STEP 05
The Wisdom of Wild Mercy for Men
After insisting for several essays that men must recover their sacred feminine within, I delineate the benefits of embracing our inherent feminine capacities, despite the pressure from multiple patriarchal structures to devalue their wisdom.
A question that keeps surfacing in my mind is whether men can be more open to developing the internal capacities—nurturing, becoming more emotionally available, connecting—that many cultures designate as feminine?
ESSAY 24 | STEP 02
One of America’s Greatest Odd Couples
John Lewis and Amo Houghton were the most unlikely pair, but they were heart-centered men who listened deeply. They shared several other character traits that made them effective leaders and great friends.
As I read the obituaries of John Lewis, I find myself asking over and over again, “What would Amo say?”
ESSAY 26 | STEP 03
One of America’s Greatest Odd Couples
John Lewis and Amo Houghton were the most unlikely pair, but they were heart-centered men who listened deeply. They shared several other character traits that made them effective leaders and great friends.
As I read the obituaries of John Lewis, I find myself asking over and over again, “What would Amo say?”
ESSAY 26 | STEP 03
One of America’s Greatest Odd Couples
John Lewis and Amo Houghton were the most unlikely pair, but they were heart-centered men who listened deeply. They shared several other character traits that made them effective leaders and great friends.
As I read the obituaries of John Lewis, I find myself asking over and over again, “What would Amo say?”
ESSAY 26 | STEP 03
One of America's Greatest Odd Couples
John Lewis and Amo Houghton were the most unlikely pair, but they were heart-centered men who listened deeply. They shared several other character traits that made them effective leaders and great friends.
As I read the obituaries of John Lewis, I find myself asking over and over again, “What would Amo say?”
ESSAY 26 | STEP 03
Review of Contemplation and Community for The Future of Faith
These are the fresh insights of a group of unsuspecting revolutionaries to whom the Spirit has granted a discernment that could quite possibly change our world.
Twelve young contemplatives explain what the hell is going on.
ESSAY 31 | STEP 03 & 04 & 05
The Remaking of the American Male
Most men’s retreats and new masculinity websites are still working with Jungian archetypes – King Warrior Lover Magician—and outdated models of masculinity that we need to update and expand. Richard Rohr thirty years ago identified the set of issues that men must explore in order to rebuild the modern American Male psyche.
This is a tough, essential task. There are no easy fixes.
ESSAY 25 | STEPS 01-05 & 07
One of America’s Greatest Odd Couples
John Lewis and Amo Houghton were the most unlikely pair, but they were heart-centered men who listened deeply. They shared several other character traits that made them effective leaders and great friends.
As I read the obituaries of John Lewis, I find myself asking over and over again, “What would Amo say?”
ESSAY 26 | STEP 03
How Men Can Best Respond to Racial Injustice
This essay proposes seven areas of self-examination as a concrete way for men to take action to gain control over the way Man Box culture distorts our lives, laying the foundation for white male privilege and racial injustice. It was written in response to Karin Swann’s essay, “The Racism/Patriarchy Connection and How We Work To Address Them Both” for Medium.
Protest is not enough when the root problem is the patriarchal masculinity that shapes our culture.
ESSAY 27 | STEPS 01-07
Essays on New Masculinity and Male Spirituality
Collectively, the essays propose a framework for reframing the way we men roll. Preserving the best parts of our old male code, and reinventing the new. Start exploring now.
Guides for Exploration
Sometimes it’s easier to understand a new place that you’re exploring when you can talk to a guide who has been there before you. These videos are my take on what you may encounter as you discover the hidden, inner landscape of your male identity. Think of them as the start of a conversation between us that will continue as you move forward on your journey.
Common Sense, Revisited
Instead of creating a democratic society that lifts all boats, we’ve built a national hierarchy that exponentially rewards individuals as they rise to the top who have little sense of responsibility to others. We need to reorder our priorities.
We are without question at an inflection point, and what is at stake is our soul as a nation.
ESSAY 28 | STEP 07
The Battle for the Soul of America
Several pundits framed the presidential election as a choice between two fundamentally different models of masculinity. On all counts, it was a false choice.
To me, the election wasn’t so much a “Battle for the Soul of America” as a battle for the souls of men.
ESSAY 29 | STEPS 01-05 & 07
A New Year, A New Man?
The attack on our nation’s capital has demonstrated the limitations of the power-aggression paradigm and a current culture of masculinity that supports it. Men need to embrace alternative archetypes of behavior embedded in our collective unconscious and many ancient wisdom traditions.
It’s time to reject the culture of masculinity that has been revealed in this historic moment. We need to move forward.
ESSAY 30 | STEPS 02 & 05